Behind Closed Doors
by NeoCriMs0n
Summary: Behind all those insults, lies and pain she inflicted towards "The Hero of Ikaruga", a hidden feeling of guilt, remorse and obsession lingers. Jin X Rachel *Rachel's POV*


**Author's Notes**: Hi, all! This is my first fanfic this summer and I'm really sorry for the long absence. I REALLY hate college at times. But as you all know, obligation comes first. I will be continuing my other fanfics soon so be sure to read up on those and tune in for updates. However, I will be deleting most of those fanfics so if any one of you has a fanfic they don't want to be taken down, then "Message" me before it's too late. :D  
>-<p>

**One Shot – **Behind Closed Doors

Rachel Alucard.

That is my name.

The current head of the vampiric Alucard Family next to my father. I am an "Observer", a position assigned to me by the almighty beings of Amaterasu. Given, I have seen all of the happenings that will involved the creation of the legendary destroyer, the Black Beast.

Countless of times, I have seen the Grim Reaper and the Hero of Ikaruga delve into their own fated encounters. Each and everytime, leading them to nothingness. So many times, I have seen the Hero of Ikaruga cry amidst the darkness of his own destiny – to become the White Knight known as Hakumen, and destroy that which was once his beloved brother. Each and every time, I can see that it fills him with immense sadness whenever he dealt the final blow. Even with that blank white mask, I can see that see that he is shedding tears.

Now these following days are different…

The loop broken by the Continuum Shift due to the interference of the innocent 12th Murakumo Unit, Noel Vermillion. It was a surprise even to me.

Nevertheless, everything changed.

However, there is something, or someone that had little change despite the turn of events. That someone is…

Jin Kisaragi, or someone I preferably call as "Mr. Hero".

It seems he is completely oblivious of the chain of events that is happening, or worse, probably he simply couldn't bring himself to care. In himself, he only has one goal, and that is to kill his brother Ragna by any means necessary. What's more annoying is that he is nothing more than a servant to his own embodiment of insanity - that embodiment being his own Nox Nyctores, Yukianesa.

He is the master of Yukianesa, or so he claims anyway.

We both have the same level of pride, but deep inside him, beneath that icy exterior, I can see that he is field with abandonment, a life without purpose.

Whenever we would cross paths, I masked my words of care with what could literally be summarized as insults. Yes, I would insult and beat him to no end, calling him with every negative vulgar aspect of traits suited to him to no end. I even attempt to mock his beautiful face, although in secret, I am entranced by it. In hopes that someday, somehow, I would reach him and he would change the aspect of his mind. But for now, it is for naught. It's as if I'm taking care of my own child.

Those aside, I can see a great potential in him. A potential that far exceeds even Ragna and the Black Beast itself. For he is the The Antibody - the world's defense against any kind of threats in the balance of order.

Just like a mother, I am tempted to cry whenever he would shrug off any kind of words I can give. To the point that I would not even take one sip of tea for hours just to linger on my own disappointment and grief. But I tried to be optimistic as possible. There is still hope left.

Hakumen is the literal proof of Mr. Hero's change of aspects.

As for now, I asked one of the legendary Six Heroes a favor to watch over Mr. Hero, as well. If words aren't enough, then some actions would be suffice. After all, actions speaks louder than words.

If Jubei managed to tame the overly-vulgar Ragna, then I'm sure he could do the same for Mr. Hero.

As for my feelings, it is of very little importance at the moment. To be frank, I have feelings for both of the brothers. But it's just a mere coincidence that it grew more on the older one due to watching him for quite a time than the younger one. But as usual, I tried to mask those feelings by giving the either of them insults on every given opportunity.

But in my opinion, I see myself caring more for the younger one. Secretly, I can't help but feel annoyed at the fact that Mr. Hero doesn't even acknowledge me, worse is that he doesn't even bestow any kind of effort to know me, who I was. In fact, I would be lying if I didn't say he is very beautiful and I find him very attractive – which he really is.

Mr. Hero's current attitudes annoys me to the very core of my being, but I kept wondering why my feelings for him did not diminish even by a little. But I know it in my heart, that I am at world's apart from the brothers.

Mr. Hero…

I always say that I wanted to ruin that beautiful face of his. But in secret, I wanted to hold that delicate face with both of my hands, look into those deep, lush-green, emerald eyes and trace my fingertips through those smooth curves.

I always say that I wanted to badly damage and wound his body. But in secret, I want to be able to get close and feel that body. Those strong, slender arms wrapped around my own in a warm and comforting embrace, while I revel in to his intoxicating fragrance.

I always say that I wanted him to feel pain. But in secret, I just want him to recognize the pain as a gesture for him to stop ignoring me.

I can never put words on how badly I feel for lying everytime I cross paths with Mr. Hero. But as I've said, my feelings are of little importance. My attention is solely focus on the tasks at hand.

It won't be long now until the great battle of our time ensues – The Antibody against The Destroyer.

In the end, The Destroyer will be reborn and cause calamities but will be annihilated by The Antibody, and bring peace and order to the world.

I have faith in you Mr. Hero. Don't ever give up fighting.

Jin Kisaragi. Don't give up.

-  
><strong>Author's Notes<strong>: Reviews and Feedbacks are highly appreciated. Thankies!


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